There Is No “Other”

Dear Scott,

Thanks for your words. It made me realize how dependent i had been on my reflexes to react to suffering and pain. With deeper understanding and will i hope to bring about positive transformations in my life.

It’s interesting to notice how exaggerated desires and hopes can lead to a sticky relationship. But how do you define “freedom” in committed relationships like marriage? How do you explain this need for true intimacy, to share one’s life, to belong…? Where is the balance?

“Freedom” means freedom from the bondage and torment of self centered thinking and feeling. Marry the truth of who you really are, disappear, completely, into honesty and kindness, and you will find that you belong totally to what is, to whomever and whatever is present on the most intimate of terms. If you try to make anyone a special object of that happiness, then fear, frustration, resentment, and sorrow are virtually guaranteed.

I’m not trying to be hard-nosed in putting it this way, but I don’t think it serves us to pretend things are other than the way that they are. Just because most everybody seems to subscribe to a certain set of opinions about relationship, marriage, and commitment, no matter how rationalized or justified, doesn’t make it honest. What is is the only true relationship. Do you really want to be free? Find out what happens when there is no story — past, present, or future — about “you” and no story about the “other”.

-Scott Morrison-
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