Love Without Sorrow

Dear Scott,

Life brings most of it’s valuable lessons through relationships we hold dear. All i have learnt through the painful experiences is that “love is not enough”. Isn’t it ironical?

I’m letting myself feel the restlessness and emptiness inside, hoping that it’ll eventually lead me to a more meaningful purpose of life. Am i wasting my time refusing to wake up to reality? Am i supposed to loose myself in mundane responsibilities like all humans do? What am i living for, if not for True Love?

Take heart. It is good that you are not trying to repress or escape your feelings, but there is a greater opportunity here. The intimate life, the awakened life, requires wisdom also. Wisdom is none other than deep insight into the nature of things, the result of open awareness and honest reflection. This hurt that you speak of is caused by a lack of clear understanding, and it will come to an end when that understanding is complete.

The problem is not with love, but with that which is thought to be love (by just about everybody), but is actually clinging to how we want things to be. How to know the difference? The flavor of true love (which is unconditional) is always of joy and freedom, of serenity. If the taste is, instead, one of expectation and hope, of tension, fear, worry, frustration, longing, or sorrow, then it is simply not love. Clinging, by whatever name, always results in suffering. If you truly understand that, then it is easy to let go.

There is an ancient teaching which says there are two kinds of suffering: suffering that leads to more suffering, and suffering that leads to the end of suffering, by coming to recognize the difference. Such experiences, however painful, are opportunities to put an end to suffering.

-Scott Morrison-
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