Be Absolutely Ready for What Is

I will be in Northern California for the next two weeks, meeting with friends. If you are going to be in that area and would like to come, and have not already received a schedule, please send a note, and someone will try to get information to you. (Be sure to indicate where you are.)

Dear Scott, On Sunday, February 7, 1999, “I” came face to face with “you”. As I commented on the coincidence of having made your meeting and how much your words meant to me, you responded, “Is it?”. To which I answered that some things I guessed were meant for me to understand but the mysteries are for “the other” (referring to God). You sat some 8 feet away from me, perfectly still, face relaxed, and gaze fixed in an open and vulnerable posture. Almost telepathically I recognized myself assuming the same position. With no projection you then said “there is no other”. My mind, which until this point had been like its own Rubic’s cube in its vain attempts to understand this universe came finally and gratefully to a complete standstill, as if to say “I don’t know”. Instantaneously, I felt something pulling from my chest, yet I was still connected to it; likewise I could feel the same emanating from you. The speed of this emanation increased, blurring all around it until “it” collided in the space that had once “separated” “us”.

There was a silent explosion of light and emptiness that had no boundaries and extended infinitely. Yet I felt no alarm, for it was not as if I was transported to another place. I was, in fact, this void. As if returning to the womb, I recognized this place I had never seen before and knew instinctively that not only had I never left, I have always been in this eternal place. I realized that I had now conquered even a fear of death, for I have always been and will always be. And in that moment I understood everything, yet paradoxically I knew nothing. Joy-bliss are words which constrain, for I was even beyond those descriptions. “I” was home beyond form and limitation. I was seeing and feeling and understanding beyond a sensory level and beyond the constraint of time.

“Delicate, fragile, and overwhelming”–and suddenly it all collapsed within itself, and all events were on rewind and reversed themselves until what had left slammed back into me with force. And there “you” were, and “I” too had returned. I leapt from my chair and ran to a wall that suddenly now existed, and slammed my hand down its side and exclaimed, “but what about this, and plants, and animals”. You maintained your seat, posture, and composure, and waited for me to become still and return to my chair. Upon doing so again you repeated “there is no other” and all events occurred again as before. But this time upon returning I lunged at your feet and burst into tears of joy and cried out “Master”! You lifted me to my feet. You looked me into the eyes and said, “it was yourself bringing you to your self all along”. I said “but this means” and you said “just relax into it”.

Well Scott, for almost a year I have relaxed into it and I have some questions and I have nowhere else to turn. Now I realize you can deflect all of this by simply replying that all of this is a memory and that by replaying this memory I have reduced it, constricted it, and even blasphemed it. I implore you to resist that response, for I find no accounts where such an event is adequately explained.

So if this were a scientific experiment and you were my companion on this journey, then look at this as comparing notes, and you have been to these regions, and I desire some input from your experience. So here are my questions: How did you know I was ready? Why is it that one word, phrase or act removes the final speck that separates? How do you keep yourself in a state of readiness for the appearance of one such as me? Is there a transmission or an equal meeting? Why is the experience relayed above never spoken or written about? Why is it important that one’s face is flaccid, one’s posture open, and gaze softly fixed? How can I go back to that place? May I go alone or must I await another being such as yourself?” Did you share in the same experience equally with me? If having twice been there why can’t I go back? Why can’t I stay longer? Must I await death to return? Will I be able to assist others as you assisted me and if so what must I do? Does meditation or any other spiritual practice have anything to do with this experience? Do the concepts of group practices, Masters, Perfect Masters- have anything to do with this or do you only reach such a point when you abandon all concepts? Is this experience generally referred to as non-duality, waking up, awakening, enlightenment? If so, why do I feel my journey has just begun than ended?

“It” is not a place or an experience. You simply discovered your own Self, the true nature of things. You are everywhere, yet you have no location. The reason it is perplexing to you now is that you are trying to match all of this up with prior ideas, images, descriptions, labels, memories, and imaginings, based on what you have read or heard or thought or concluded at one time or another. All of it firmly rests on what you think about “you” and “me” and “God”, as separate bodies, separate entities. I’m afraid I can’t help you with any of that, because all of it is based on the false assumption that anything can be separate. Whatever you think you are, and whatever you think I am, and whatever you think God is, none of it is true. You are asking me to explain things I cannot even begin to talk about. To be sure, words have their everyday functions, but when we use them in a vain attempt to capture what is, they come up meaningless and empty.

What I can tell you is that you were completely open. The reason this seems like an event in time is because you have tried to use it to draw conclusions about yourself and me, none of which have anything to do with anything.

If you truly want to rest in the heart of God, if you truly want to disappear into the heart of God, into the heart of Love, into the heart of Reality, into the heart of Peace, just be still. Stop trying to get anything for yourself (especially “spiritual things”). Stop trying to become somebody, and stop trying to know things in advance. Stop pretending you know anything at all. Why should we pretend we know anything? Be completely and unguardedly open, simply because there is no other way to be that is honest.

Why is it like this? It makes perfect sense, but beyond this, I cannot explain it. The whole thing is an absolute and exquisite mystery to me.

-Your own Self-
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